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01 August 2010 @ 01:20 am
I have come to realise, because of my own stupidity. That the next few days are going to be the most frightening and life changing i've ever experienced.
I've made a decision that if i go through with, will probably haunt me for a long time and if i don't go through with it i fear i will lose everything i've ever wanted.

In the end it is my decision, but not wanting anyone to know about it, its terrifying.
In short, I wish to apologise in advance for how i will be afterwards (even though no-one reads this, its helpful putting it down).
The one person I am truly, utterly and completely grateful for is Craig, for putting up with me and just completely being there as much as he can.

I know i'm a complete fool, i've treated certain people terribly and wrongly and i regret it all. The last few months I have contemplated many harsh things/ends for myself but have come to the decision that that would just be an easy way out and would lead to nobody's benefit.
All that gets me by now is the constant thought that "things happen for a reason" and "it will be better in the end".
Current Mood: scaredscared
11 February 2010 @ 11:01 pm
Glad that i've been talking to Kei-kei tonight!
Made my day!!



day 06 ? whatever tickles your fancy

what tickles my fancy? hmm i've been looking at way awesome cakes today!
But best thing is i've been inspired a lot by kei-kei's commissions and now i have doodling and sewing ideas yay!

Dan isn't in my good books atm though. He said he wouldn't be back late and he wanted to talk to me. But it's now 1 minute past 11 and i class that wayyy past late >:(


I might let him off. Maybe.

anywho, off to draw

27 September 2009 @ 02:34 pm
My ears been bleeding!! :O
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Corb Lund - Good Copenhagen
05 September 2009 @ 12:23 am
today has been shit.
31 August 2009 @ 12:22 pm
> 1. Anthony
> 2. Keita
> 3. Emma cos shes in Iceland!!
> 4. Izzie
> 5. Me when i get going
> 6. Keita
> 7. Anthony
> 8. Clare
> 9. Dan
> 10. Dan
> 11. i dont know, i cant think of anyone for this
> 12. Charlotte
> 13. aaron
> 14. Keita lol!!
> 15. Parky
> 16. Phil
> 17.
> 18. Izzie
> 19. Parky
> 20. Phil
> 21. and again..?
> 22. huh?
> 23. Aaron as he's the director
> 24. I dunno..=(
> 25. Anthony lol
> 26. Anthony
> 27. I dunno
> 28. Keita
> 29. Anthony
> 30. Rawr
22 August 2009 @ 11:45 am
Ohh mannn it's been nearly a month since my last post woops!!

i'll try and fill you in with what i remember..

i can't remember anything particularly brilliant from my second week alone, other than i got an inteview for McDonalds!! shame i haven't heard back from them since =/
ohwell, at least i know i can get an interview and they arent tooo bad, just pissed off i didnt get it =( probably over qualified lmao.

I also FINALLY posted off my ID form and stuff last sunday! so hopefully i'll have that for next saturday (my birthday!!!!!) so i can go out =D.
Am missing Lincoln Pride tonight cos i don't have it ='(

I met up with Kei-Kei on monday and we went to the job centre, all they did was give us a form with agency names on and a leaflet about job seekers which i cant get cos you have to have so many national insurance things or whatever >=(

so that was unsuccessful. I'm hoping to apply to primark cos they are supposed to be taking on now..so need to get into town lol.
also supermarkets shall be taking on soon too, so hopefully i can get one. M mum told me to contact the hospital about housekeeping jobs..might do that i guess lol

am tring to drink 2 litres of water a day i dont think i've quite managed it yet, but we're getting there, i've always had a problem with not drinking enough- leading me being taken to the doctors cos my mum was worried lol- so i'm trying to be more "healthy" maybe i'll feel better about myself then.

Should be going to roller derby tomorrow morning with megan, wanna do it!!!

Bleurgh i have stomach ache again ¬_¬, ever since we ate that bloody kedgeree my mum made the other day me and my brothers have all felt ill.
though we think james might have a bad cold (swine flu! run awayyyy)

My parents bought two baby rabbits when they were on holiday, they are mega cute!! Lion mane rabbits i think they're called, they're white and grey and one has blue/grey eyes =O

today i'm supposed to be ringing lincoln uni about getting on their course..but i'm scarrrred i dont like phones lol - maybe thats why i have stomach ache ?


well i'll update later on how it goes.. for now i'm off to read more of absolute boyfriend until i've finished my drink